and...

Kim: d00d, only God knows HOW much I adore you. You live like 6 times zones away, but most of the times it feels like you're here with me. Our phonecalls are honestly thefuckingbest. You know I'll get into your pants one day, don't even deny it. I think of you as one of my REAL friends, not just another e-buddy. You were also my first Buzznet friend, and you brought up the fact that we both had Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus in our playlists, then a couple notes later...you told me you were drunk. AHAHHAHAHAHA, best note i've ever received.ahaha. I love my Verbaarschot.                
Pee es, Nipple-rubbing Ryan. How does that make you feel now?

Kat: Jeez, it's pretty much been a year since I've known you, and I don't think there's one thing I haven't told you about myself, from boy troubles to planning out my wedding, with you-know-who. ahaha. You know I'm always here for you and I know you'll always be there for me. It honestly feels like something's missing when I don't get the chance to talk to you. I kinda feel that way now, we should change this. I love you.

Vee: Oh-Lordieeee. I added you after you got into a fight with some 39 year old d00d on some picture of Brendon with this girl at the Mtv VMAs. And you told me who Audrey Kitching was. I told you that you had pretty hair, and we've been tiiiiight ever since. Thank Jeebus for good hair. It's been like 4 months since we last spoke, I have NO idea where you are. I miss my babyVee. ily booo.

Cherise: 'Heart-break In The Making' I added you on Msn, and that was in your name. I'm pretty sure that was in November, and ever since then i've spoken to you pretty much everyday, and if I don't I always feel like I'm missing something, or I haven't done something. From loving Brendon Urie to hating him, to being there when you needed me and when I needed you. You mean SO much to me. I really can't explain how important you are to me. I love you.

Jaimy: Our good friend Selin(whom we love and adore) introduced us. She posted a bulletin saying that everyone should go add this boy, you... Because everything said/typed made sense. The bulletin you posted that made her 'take action' was about Thongs, and how you didn't understand why women wore them. The answer: because when a woman wears tight pants and doesn't want to go comando she wears a thong so you can't see the elastic of the underwear. Thongs are not fun, don't wear them. Anyways, ever since then you've been one of my closest friends, and my Valentine. Hopefully, you know that you've got to be my Valentine every year from now on... You're probably the only dude I trust, and can talk to about ANYTHING. Thank for being there for me no matter what, I hope you know that I've 'got your back' too.

Selin: There's only been one day of my life worse then the time I didn't get to go to the Destiny's Child concert. And that's when I found that you weren't in Saudi Arabia for a vacation, but you MOVED there... It's kinda gross how much you mean to me, I mean you get me, you get into me...bwahahahahahahaha. Fernando was born today. She' 8 pounds and 6 ounces. She looks just like you but she's got 'burnzzz and hazel eyes, how this happened I do not know. You're my Jackie, and I am your Steven Hyde, you are my Seaweed and I am your kelp. ahahahaha. ilysfm my Turkish love.

Nicole: The first thing you said to me was something along the lines of, 'I don't usually add people, mostly because people kiss the ground I walk on.' I was working up the courage to add you before then, thinking up witty antics or remarks that would make you like me. But I never thought of anything good enough. Thus, when I finally thought of something funny enough to say...Nikkiejo, THE Nikkiejo, added ME on Buzznet. Best day of my life.

Cam: d00d, i love you SO fucking much. Vraiment, on doit faire quelque chose ensemble avant que tu part, mkayy. I've talked to you about so many things. Hair, boys, scenequeens and just like everrryytthiinnggg. We should go see Hilary Duff together. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. ByTheWay, I have something important to tell you. d00d, you knew I like always loved you, BUT when you told me you knew about les Tetes-A-Claques, I was like, damn we need to get married. iloveyou.

Alex: Mkayy, where to begin. We need our own reality Tv shows. All the dramamamamamamama that happens in our lives is insane. People would watch us. I'm still trying to upload the french video I made for you. Bare with me and Buzznet. ahahaha. Je t'adore. Une journee, on va voir Hannah Montana ensemble and Hannah's friend Oliver will want to marry us. mhmm. jtm.

Mandy: You're an amazing person and a great friend. And I promise you'll find a good boy. Who isn't an asshole. ahaha. ily.

Samuel: The plan from now on, is for us to go to EVERY Fall Out Boy concert in Montreal. ahaha. We've honestly pretty much only talked about Fall Out Boy and Harry Potter together, which is really NOT a bad thing...Well I mean atleast if you don't count right now, books about humans comunicating with ants, amazing conversation. ahaha. You're an awesome person and an awesome friend. ily ♥

Madison: Something tells me that, you sometimes don't realize just HOWfuckingAWESOME you are. ahaha. You make me smiiile. Not only does Joe Trohman play the guitar really really well, but he brings people together. People like you and I. ahaha. Excuse how cheesy that was, but I'm pretty damn sure that it made you smile. Which, in the end is what I aim for. i love you.

Ana: Probably the only kid I know that's younger then I am and that has a mind that's pretty much as dirrty as mine is. You, Candice and Jaimy are basically gonna take down the scene. Which makes me VERY excited. ahaha. I hope that High School isn't being so mean to you, so far. It's not as bad as people make it seem AND if people are being assholes, like that one chick you told me about, if I remember correctly. Her name was Courtney...? Don't be afraid to punch her. ahahaha.

Chloe: Not only are you the most AWESOME kid on the planet, but you are also my French Girlfriend. Which makes you like AWESOME-TASTIC to the gillionth power. Uh huh. We must talk more, MUCH more. Ask for my e-mail address, and we shall speak into the Weeeeee hours of the night. Stay amazing, mkayy? ily.

Wendy: Nucken? DAYYYUUUUMMMM. I love you for teaching me random dutch words. All I remember is, nucken, teef, watermeloen, lekkerding and yea that's it. As your Canadian lady-pimp. I pronounce you and Verbaarschot the hottest kids in Holland. Promise me one thing though... keep licking things! pictures of Brendon, Ryan, Gerard, Pete, cds. whatever, LICK IT!

Evelien: Do you realize, that...you have AMAZING taste in music? ahaha. You're such a sweet kid, we need to talk more. You make me smile. You're also one of the first people I added on Buzznet! chyeaahhhh. ily ♥

READ THIS: Anyways kids, that's it. I could type ALOT more about like each of you, but my wrists are starting to hurt from typing so much. And I need to keep my sleeping pattern before school starts.
And now that you've all read the amazing paragraph I've written about you.
I must bring on some saaaaaaaaaad news.
Because school is starting I have to stop using my Buzznet, considering I've used it WAYY to much for the past year. I'm not deleting my account. I'm just not using it until, like ThanksGiving, Christmas, Spring and Easter break. Or other times when I have a long week-end.
If I only talk to you on Buzznet, then add me on AIM or MSN. ask me for my screen name and email address.
OR add me on FaceBook or Myspace, because those 2 profiles i'll update more frequently.
I'm really sorry.
But you know how much I love you kids, and I want to keep in touch with ALL of you.

anyways.
ILOVEYOUALLSOFUCKINGMUCH.
we should all have babies.

pee es.
Congradulate Selin and I for having a health baby girl, Fernando Tamer Singh. YAYYYYY!

♥ ♥ ♥

Nikkie tagged me first, so I'm gonna credit her for it.

Before I start, here are the rules:
1. List 8 facts...only 8.
2. You must then list 8 TAGS at the end of the post. This means you must name 8 people on Buzznet who now have to post the same type of blog (journal entry).
3. Leave them a note on their page asking them to read yours.

*8 Facts About Me*

1. I'm Punjabi(if you don't know what that is, go look it up) and my mom watches alot of Bollywood movies(google it) and so do I. I'm freakishly obsessed with them, they're all musicals so they all have songs in them. I learn the songs and the choreography.

2. I care WAYYYY to much about my teeth. Brush, Floss, Listerine. I do it all. Gotta love my pearly-whites.

3. I dance around in my underwear. All the time. ahaha. And I sing at the top of my lungs when I dance around in my underpants.

4. I play the violin, I've been playing for 3 years. It's one of my favourite things to do. If you wanna hear me play, go watch one of my videos called Mantras. The senior Orchestra played that during the June Strings Concert.

5. I'm oddly obsessed with Disney Channel shows/movies, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ,The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, Hannah Montana, Cory In The House, That's So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, Even Stevens, etc...

6. I find being single wayyyyy better then being in a relationship.

7. I can't cook, I made Kraft Diner once, and while the little maccaronis were in the water, the water completly evaporated. I got yelled at for ruining a perfectly good pan.

8. I change subjects very quickly and abruptely, ex... one second i'll talk about tv and the next cupcakes. It gets annoying but mehh.

i tag: your mom.

So, once we got there. me and my little cousin started to dance around because they had this little concert thing going on. and we were HxC dancing to Madonna, which is always funn. After we danced our way through the crowd we found the Face-Painting booth.
And we waited in line for like 30mins and then this woman comes with her kid, and just butts infront of us. and im totally pissed because I waited in line, and she just comes out of nowhere and cuts right infront of me and my little cousin, who's 10. so anyways. im not having this. so i'm like if she can butt so can i. i held my cousin's hand and went right infront of her. and she's like "it's not nice to butt, you should know that"
and im like "EXCUSE ME? you cut infront of us in the first place, you hypocrite"
and then she goes on about how i have NO respect.
had she kindly asked to get ahead of me with her little kid, i wouldn't have minded, but nooooo. she had to be a bitch about it. so my little cousin's like "look lady, we were here before you."
the stupid bitch still didn't move.
so she turns around and starts to speak in french to these other little kids, who ALSO cut to the front of the line. and she's like "i hate it when people cut in line, it's so disrespectful."
and obviously, i understand french and can speak it well.
so i look at her and say "oh mon dieu, je sais" which in english means, "oh my god, i know"
and i gave her a dirty look. and then they said that they were going to close the Face-Paint booth at 10. so i didn't get a Spider-Man face and my cousin didn't get 2 huge Maple Leaves. so we left the booth. and went to go sit down and watch the FireWorks which were supposed to begin at 10:10.
so we watched the FireWorks and they were good, they've been better. but they were okay.

and that my friends was my Canada Day 2007.
oh and by the way...
while we were at City Hall, i kept getting dirty looks so all the motherfuckers who looked at me wierd got the finger too.
and i dont understand why i was getting so many evil eyes, considering i was wearing jeans and a hoodie. so it wasn't like i was dressed like a total slut or anything, nor do i dress like a total slut on any occasion.

anyways kiddies.
i love you all.
<3

I think about you more then I’d like to and not enough as I should. Up until recently I was fine but these words bring you back. And now I just feel that I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. You might have hurt me, cheated on me and lied to me, but you were the only one to have ever really loved me. My regret is making me sick and my love is killing me. I need to have you or I need to forget you, it’s just I can’t do either. Having you causes to much pain and forgetting brings back your memory. I hate to waste paper, but I hate wasting my time, strength and energy on you. You’ll get sick of this one day and you’ll tell me how you feel, I’ll tell you how I feel too. Whether or not you like what you hear is up to you. You (don’t) bring out the best in people, especially (not) in me. I’m not calling myself perfect, because I never was, but I was better off without you. I never knew that I had these words in me. You brought them out, so it’s up to you if you like them or not, because every letter, word and line, is about you. And none of them are about how much I loved you. I just use the word “love” to cover-up the fact that I was killing off a part of you. I’m an emotional wreck, writing things that don’t make any sense and saying things that everyone understands and yet no one cares to acknowledge.

I can’t stand to see that you know me so well, every flaw and imperfection; you’ve got my insecurities down to a science. That’s why I feel so vulnerable around you, not because “love” is dangerous and scary, but because you use my defects against me and I have nothing to fight back with. Like a battered child I sit silently and wait for what’s next, scared and tortured. And yet with everything you’ve done I still care for you. I still long to lead life where you belong beside me. It’s a strange feeling to need someone you can’t stand and love someone you hate.

Maybe this could work, maybe… but only if I had no pen or paper and only if you could re-gain my trust. But I’m not one for honesty. After you I stopped believing in the truth. I believe in second chances, I gave you a million of them. My love for you is out-numbered by my hate for you. At one point in time, you meant the world to me and now you mean nothing to the world. It’s always mind over matter, you don’t mind and I don’t matter. I’m the original Sinner and you’re the original Liar. It was meant to be.

May 25. the best day of my fucking life.
i counted down from day 52 for the Fall Out Boy show in Montreal. and when their were only 2 hours left. i couldnt contain myself. i HAD to let it out. and so i did. i pissed everyone in my house off listening to TTTYG, FUCT and IOH. On the drive to the Bell Centre me and my mother got into a little dispute about why i needed to go to a concert. i told her that the concert was not just a concert. but it was a Fall Out Boy Show. the end.
So we get to the Bell Centre. me and my sister get out. and there are kids EVERYWHERE. We get by the huge crowd, go inside have our tickets scanned and start to look for a Merch Booth. we get to the closest one and i get an AWESOME Fall Out Boy shirt (pictures to come). I looked REALLY hard for the Right In The Family Jewels Clandestine necklaces, and i didnt find them. wtf? i had to buy one for me AND for Selin(pmsfan). i promised her i would, and i let her down. the only part of my evening that was sad. My sister got tired of waiting around at the Merch Booth so we went inside and got our seats. which were actually, to my surprise VERY good. considering the tickets sold out in 2 weeks. So i looked for the best possible tickets and i must admit bugging the TicketMaster woman was TOTALLY worth it.

So we sit and we wait for Dirty to come on, and tell us what's going to happen. While we're waiting they're playing some Hardcore music on the speakers. and that music was fucking awwwwesome. So I'm listening and im liking alot. when all of a sudden, it hits me. IM GONNA SEE FUCKIN FALL OUT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i start to have a minor panic attack because of the insane excitement. and my sister's trying to like calm me down, which does really work. Then the kids behind us start smoking pot, which pissed me off. but anyways as the kids are lighting up, everyone starts to scream and im like "WHOA! SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN" so i turn around, and there on the stage in all his nastiness is the one the only the dirtiest of them all Dirty. so i start to FREAK-OUT. and my sister's like "Who's that? Who's that?" and im like "it's DIRTY!" and i totally shut her out and listen to the man, because i can hear my sister blabber on forever, when do i honestly get to see Dirty, well, being Dirty? so he says that Cobra Starship are coming on first, then Paul Wall, then The Academy Is... and then the Legendary +44. and then the reason we're ALL hear MONTHERFUCKING FALL OUT BOY! the crowd goes INSANE. anyways so Cobra Starship comes on stage, and people are still showing up because their dumb and wanted to miss Cobra Starship...like wtf? how dumb are you? So the band comes on and everyone's on stage just not Gabe, who runs out and starts speaking french, really fast and REALLY well. and obviously i can understand him so me and my sister are like "OMG i love him." they play their songs and then 10 minute break. Dirty comes back on and says, "are you guys having fun? are you ready for tonight?" and everyone's screaming then he introduces Paul Wall, and some kids booed which was pretty sad...but whatever. he sang Drive Slow, the Kanye West song, and i was like wtf? its a Kanye song, just because you have one verse doesnt mean you can sing it. but whatever he sang Grillz. so i was kinda happy because that songs funny. paul wall wasnt that bad but yea i didnt really wanna see him. 10 minute break.

Dirty comes on, and introduces The Academy Is... by then like everyone's there. so people are screaming and they come out and the kids are going fucking insane. they played The Phrase That Pays, Neighbours, LAX To O'Hare, Everthing We Had, Checkmarks and We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands. and i was SO fucking happy. like honestly they were AMAZING. 10 minute break. i leave my seat to go get in line to see them at the end of the venue were all the signings are taking place. so i get there. and i decide to get into the line which is INSANELY long, but whatever i'll wait. so i stand there and wait. then i see William coming by. and he's saying hi to everyone and i muster enough confidence to yell "WILLIAM I LOVE YOU!" and then he reaches out his hand towards me and he's smiling super-big. and then ME and WILLIAM BECKETT held HANDS. one of THE best moments of my life. by this time +44 is already playing their set. and im singing along. and mid-way through their set, the security guards yell, "PLUS D'AUTOGRAPHE" in english: no more autographs. so im like aww maan. then i think "wtf!? im sad!? im at a FALL OUT BOY SHOW! and one of the hottest men on the fucking planet JUST held MY HAND!" so i go back inside and sit down. and Mark is talking and saying how much he loves french-canadians and im like YEAAA!!!!!!!!!!! and then he's like since we love you guys SO much we're gonna play a little song you might know that goes like this...and they played ROCKSHOW! by Blink-182. one of my favourite songs like everrrr. so im singing along at the top of my lungs. and then they played another song that i dont really know, but i have a video of it. and then they played Smile with VickyT from Cobra Starship. and then When Your Heart Stops Beating. and the crowd's going insane.

and then another break. about 20 mins long. me and my sister get hungry so we get popcorn and some Sprite. we try to eat it as fast as we possibly can before Fall Out Boy get onstage. So we're eating and waiting and then the lights go off. and im like SHIT so i stuff the Sprite and the popcorn under my seat. and then this video of pete getting his first guitar at the age of 12 comes on. and then he talks about even though he had all these hardships in high school he made it through and that he doesnt live like the kids in Uganda. and then he talks about Displace Me. and it was a REALLY good way to start the show, i mean yea kids are there to see Fall Out Boy but it honestly wouldnt hurt them to learn about all of this stuff thats going down in Uganda. i did a project about the whole thing last year. and i did really really well, yayyy.

so back to the show. the video ends and then you Jay-Z's voice starts going "What You Critics Said Would Neva Happen, We Dedicate This Album To Anybody. People Said We Couldnt Make, To The Fans That Held Us Down 'Til Everybody Came Around" BANG! OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE I SEE FALL OUT BOY FLY OUT OF THE FUCKING STAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE'S SCREAMING AND JUMPING AND YELLING AND WHOAA. it was fucking CHOAS! and then they played the intro and then Patrick started singing. and EVERYONE was singing along, it was aaaamazing. the energy in that room was unbelievable. then they played Our Lawyers, then Of All The Gin Joints, then Where Is Your Boy. Pete talked then Sugar, We're Going Down. im not sure about the order after this but. Tell That Mick..., I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy..., Hum Hallelujah, I'm Like A Lawyer.... Clothing Change. A Little Less Sixteen Candles..., Beat It,This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race, Carpal Tunnel Of Love, Golden, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, The Take Over, The Breaks Over. Then Andy left his drum set and came to the front of the stage where a new set of drums turned over onto the stage from under the stage. and then they did One And Only, Andy's Drum Solo, Dance, Dance. AND while they played One and Only while everyone was looking at Patrick and Andy, Pete and Joe just sneaked off stage and NO one knew where they were going. so then Dance, Dance starts playing and everyone's looking for Joe and Pete and their in the middle of the floor where the lighting and sounds are being controled. so everyone in the back's like WHOAAAA. and theirs flames everywhere during the songs. it was fucking awesome! and then Last But Not The Least, Saturday! another thing that made my sad that night.
Pete yelled:
"SINCE THIS IS OUR LAST SONG, EVERYONE IN THE STANDS COME DOWN TO THE DANCEFLOOR!!!!"
and i was begging my sister to let me go...but she held my down and was like NO!
so she's on my badside, somewhere someone wouldnt want to be. but whatever. i was at Fall Out Boy.
and NOTHING, and i mean NOTHING was gonna ruin my day. so i sang Saturday the loudest i possibly fucking could! and then pete went into the crowd and he was screaming and then confetti and streamers were flying out of the stage. and then pete said something that made my year, not that concer already hadn't...
"GOODNIGHT MONTREAL, WE LOVE YOU AND WE'LL SEE IN THE FALL
MERCI!"

the end.
My weeked was even more eventful, but for now i'm done. haha.
the concert was AMAZING.
but even the word "amazing" comes up short.

not seeing Fall Out Boy in '07?
you suck at life.

It was about control, control over me, my emotions and my body. You were the ring-leader and I was the tiger. I bet you didn’t think I was going to bite back so hard. My mother told me that men are weak, they need their time and that without women they wouldn’t get any where in this crazy lifetime. I guess without me, you’re not getting any where. Ships have sailed, relationships have failed but my voice still resides in your mind. But promise to never look back, to never call my name and to never love me the way you did. We’re wasting our time, and others’ time by not letting go and not moving on. Yet, I just choose to remind myself of you.

READY, SET, GO. The race has begun, it’s the race to see who can get over whom first. You’re running and I’m watching you at the starting line. You look back and start to laugh, and at that very moment tears start streaming down my cheeks. I guess my tears are more victory then winning any race. I promised to never cry for you, but promises never last forever and holding back tears only ever hurts us even more. My time is up and with this last breath, I manage to say what I haven’t been able to tell you since the beginning “I Love You”

I got back from watching Shrek not to long ago, it was good. The first and second were better but it had its moments. Justin Timberlake's voice suited Arthur INSANELY well. I hate Prince Charming. And Rapunzel is a skank.

Last week-end went shopping with my sister. But it was more like Window shopping, then when we got home we got soooo bored. So we took pictures of us playing Pay-Day, which is an awesome board game. Then i stayed up late on the internet. And went to bed.

The week before that I watched Spider-Man 3. With my <b>real<b> friends. And I thought it was really good. Again the first two were better. But it was still amazing. I cried alot, because I'm very sensitive and I was sitting next to Matt and he held my hand whenever i cried. ahaha. And yet he's supposed to be the Tough-Guy, i guess not. So his new nick-name is...Softy.

I baked cupcakes for Trevor because he's moving. And i promised that when he left i'd bake him cupcakes. And i did, it took me 3 hours to get them to be perfect. And i cried the whole time. I shouldnt complain but i am anyways. because it's one of the only ways i can get everything out.

These stupid chicks at my school are going around saying that im going-out with my friend Oliver, just because he's like my best friend and we spend alot of time together. but noooo. A guy and A girl cant be friends without there being 'something' behind the friendship. but its okay. i talked to him and everything's starting to get better now. 

I made this super-long journal just to say.
SIX DAYS 'TIL FALL OUT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahaha.
im so fucking stokkkeddd.
its insane.
its gonna be the best night of my life.

anyways.
im off to bed.
g'night.

Pee Es.
A special shout-out to Selin, Nicole and Jaimy, for being (t)here for me for the past week. I REALLY appreciate you guys taking the time to listen to me complain, vent, rant and sob. about absolutely nothing. It means more to me, than i could ever explain to you. ILY all. &hearts;

It's been a long road, its been full of every emotion, good or bad a person could come to know.
It's been a long road, its been full of your apologies and your mistakes.
It's been a long road, its been full of sweet kisses and vulnerability.

Its over now though, I'm sick of seeing myself next to you. Someone has changed me unlike any other. I'm not the same anymore and i know why i've become to different, i've left every care and concern with you. I've handed you my bare soul on a silver platter. But you didnt want it. You didnt want me. I'm trying to let all of my anger out, but its not getting out, its still all inside of me.

I'm sorry that i caused you pain, more then once. Im sorry that i stopped you from being happy with her, more then once. And im also sorry for holding you close, more then once. You were never mine, i just made a mistake and believed you were. I had you once, i had you twice, and then i lost you. I know i'll never get you back. But i believe in Wishful Thinking, even if my wishing has never given me anything and my thinking lead me to you.

This isn't a letter to show or tell you i hate you, its just one to let you know that i realised that mistake i made with you, to let you know that im out of your life, and youre (not) out of mine. It's hard to explain how i feel to you because you'll never understand and you'll never know what it's like to love someone as much as i loved you. When I asked you if you ever loved me, you said, "at one point." When you asked me, i said "no, i didnt know what love was." It's insane how many times i've had to lie to you to protect myself from getting hurt, but i deal with it, but its incredible how many times you've had to lie to me to protect her. i was never important to you.

"Today's the greatest day, I've ever known."
but not quite, its the last time i'll be able to see you, to feel you and hold you. We'll never meet again, it ends here for us. no "goodbyes", no "i miss yous", and definitely no "i love yous." The break-up has happened, its the break-away.

It's been a long road, it's going to take you 6 hours away from me.

You want and wanted one thing, now that you get what you’ve been longing for there’s no point in tr/l ying. You’re a cheap imitation of the real deal. Your attempts to impress me, her and everyone else are failing, not only I can see your lies. I always liked the way you looked in the moonlight, your lies, they always glowed. Neglect the fact that it’s all a game, your time is running out and I’ve won. You’re lagging behind. Try to convince yourself that you’re perfect, that no one sees your scars, that your flaws are hidden behind that genuine smile of yours.

It’s a shame you’re leaving I can’t hurt you if you’re thousands of miles away. But I’ll keep trying.

I keep telling myself that this never happened. And that you were just my imagination, but its just that you were real. I held you, I kissed you and I loved you. You never returned the favor. Your dreams and aspirations include living this out ‘til the end. One of my dreams and aspirations is to take you out at the beginning. Why is it that whenever you hug her I dislike it but whenever I hug him you can’t stand being around? You must miss me that much. Love me or hate me, I could honestly care less. Just don’t come anywhere near me, I don’t need any extra burdens. Although, maybe you aren’t the burden, maybe it was me, maybe I still am that burden. But either way, the weight on your shoulders has been lifted. Drag me to the curb, leave me out for a truck to come carry me away. You never made me smile and you never made me feel love. You made me lust. What once was given is now lost and what was once received is now broken. Our relationship, in one line.

I’m of no use to you. I’ve over-stayed my welcome, do away with me as you please, don’t forget I’ll be back though. Not in flesh and bone, but in memory. I’m telling you now and I’m telling you once, “You’re Gonna Miss Me.” I never saw the ‘care’ in your eyes and I never felt your ‘love’ for me in your heart. I knew that right from the beginning but I neglected that thought. I was so blinded by your charm. You had me wrapped around your finger. People told me that you lost the most amazing person in the world yet I knew that I lost the most amazing person in the world.